How It Works

Well, here we go…my first blog entry. Before you go thinking I must be full of myself to think anybody would want to read anything I wrote, keep in mind that I have been told hundreds of times I should be a writer. Granted, I talk to myself often, but I’ve heard you should always listen to your inner voice and my inner voice says I should be a writer. Of course, that same inner voice told me, “just one more drink can’t hurt,” on a few occasions when I was younger, but it was drunk at the time so I can’t really count those times. Actually, since I used quotes, I should be a little more accurate in what my inner voice really said…it was more like, “Jush one more, um, whatever that lash drink was…and where’sh my pants?” Anyway, I’ve spent a good part of my life writing.

Now one would assume I would write about things I’m knowledgeable about, like veteran benefits or social security disability, but one would be wrong. It’s like asking a plumber to fix a sink for fun or a doctor to cure cancer on their free time, but even professional people deserve a break sometimes. Except politicians of course. Their half time work schedule for full-time pay excludes them from anything meaningful, however, I do believe they have a strong calling to be fiction writers if they ever retire from whatever it is they do. In fact, some of their speeches alone could be best sellers!

Anyway, I’ve been writing one thing or another since I was a kid. My first piece of writing came about in fifth grade when I was a new student in a new school. I was younger than my classmates and since it was a parochial school and I had only been to public school up until this time, I really didn’t seem to fit in. After about 2 weeks of not fitting in, we were assigned to write a story. It only needed to be a couple pages, but I suddenly felt inspired. Hours later, I had a 70-page story called “Valley of the No-Toes.” In this story, I included all the kids in my class in one way or another. The teacher liked it and had me read it aloud to the class. It was a hit and I suddenly had friends. I also realized that I just spent 70 pages lying about stuff and it was ok, even in a parochial school. Apparently, that commandment has a loophole for writing.

So, the moral of that short little story is that lying is a great way to get good grades, make friends, and suddenly become popular…well, for a little while anyway. I pretty much erased the popular part in my next story where I made some of my fellow students look like idiots. The sad part was, they were idiots in real life and I just told the truth. So it’s true…sometimes the truth can hurt. Lying, however, makes you popular and have friends.

It was at that young age that I began to understand politics.

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