Snuff the Rooster

We all have certain things that’ll wake us up. Some people wake up to music, some to calming ocean sounds, some to the sound of trains or traffic, and some to the sound of a rooster. I know there are plenty more, like crying babies, barking dogs, mewling cats, and that lady next door who’s always yelling at the kids, but this is a blog post, not the book of lists. You get what you get.

So you may have guessed, maybe not, but this post is about alarm clocks. Most of us wake to things that make some kind of noise. Some of us need a lot of noise and some of us only need a little noise to get us up. Some folks, like my parents who were deaf, only need a flashing light to get them up. In fact, my dad was so brilliant that he created a baby monitor that would flash when we would cry at night as babies so they wouldn’t have to continuously check on us all night long.

Me, I need something annoying to wake me up. Seeing that it would be most unpleasant to have somebody who I dislike stand by my bed until morning and start talking when it’s time for me to get up, I’ve embraced technology. One of the alarms I can pick for my cell phone is a rooster. It wakes me up and I don’t even have to feed it or clean up after it! Also, I’m still on speaking terms with some of my neighbors…

Of course, my back-up system is my cat. She’s not very dependable and can’t tell time, but she is fully capable of waking me up. The problem is, she thinks the moment the sun comes up is when she needs to start her job. She’ll sit on the bed and if I move or even twitch, she starts yowling and crawling all over me.

CAT: Oh! You’re up! Feed me!

ME: Leave me alone, I was just rolling over.

CAT: But you’re up! Feed me!

ME: Not yet! I’m still sleeping!

CAT: No you’re not…you’re rolling around and talking to me. Feed me!

This seems to go on every 15 minutes from when the sun comes up to when the rooster finally crows. Then the cat gets offensive.

CAT: Oh sure, you get up for that annoying bird sound! Feed me!

ME (mainly because I do not speak cat so early in the morning): Do you need to go outside?

CAT: No, I took care of that already as I’m sure you’ll find out. Feed me!

WIFE: Why are you up so early and what’s wrong with the cat? Does she need to go out?

ME (putting on my shoes): Uggghh! What’s in my shoe?

So, as you can see, I usually don’t get to sleep in. If I do, it’s because I got up at the break of day, fed the cat, and let her out before climbing back into bed. Then again, if it’s not a weekend, there’s still the rooster. It has to be snuffed every weekday morning.

After taking care of the cat, my morning shifts into a routine of sorts. If it’s really early, I’ll make myself an espresso drink and get to work on my computer. If it’s a little later in the early morning, I’ll put my coffee off until I go to get my wife her espresso drink from my favorite baristas down the road.

This is where my morning brightens up. I walk into the store and am immediately greeted by “Hi White Chocolate,” or “Good morning White Chocolate.” Yes, they call me White Chocolate. If you haven’t read it already, I wrote an entire blog post about this strange phenomenon about being nicknamed as such. They make me smile and I often feel as if the rest of my day will be good…even if my shoe is a little wet.

So, let’s take inventory. Alarms, check. Rooster, check. Cat, check. Espresso happiness, check. I think I covered everything I wanted to cover in this post…except, of course, I could go on about the cat…

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