Towhead Flash

When my younger two boys were visiting their mom, they got into a rock fight with some other boys. At the time, my youngest boys were about 7 and 4 years old. Even though my 7-year-old was a big kid for his age, it was my tiny 4-year-old that had a deadly arm. I recall a snowball fight where I kept getting hit in the face and it turned out to be him from about twenty feet away with near perfect accuracy. I can only imagine his participation in a rock fight.

Anyway, someone called the police and just as they were arriving, my 4-year-old took off in a flash, leaving my 7-year-old to catch the heat from the law. Apparently, it was spaghetti night at his mom’s house that night and he didn’t want anything to interfere with the most special of nights in his young 4 years of life. He made it home, went in without saying anything about the rock fight or his brother being busted, and proceeded to eat spaghetti. When the police arrived at the door, he just slunk down and kept eating.

It took a couple phone calls, but we were able to keep our boys from turning into hardened criminals by sweet-talking the police into letting them slide.

I told you this little story so I could tell you this other story that happened almost 20 years later.

I was representing a retired Deputy Sheriff in court for his disability claim and we had about an hour before the hearing. After making sure we had everything we needed for his hearing, we turned to small talk. When I found out where he had served, I told him about the story of my two boys and the rocks. He got a funny look on his face.

DEPUTY: Were they two little blond-haired boys?

ME: Yeah!

DEPUTY: I was the one who busted them!

ME: Wow! What a small world! Now here I am representing the same guy who busted my kids!

DEPUTY: I actually remember the whole thing. Your older boy was so polite and apologetic, I couldn’t help but like him.

ME: Yeah, he has that effect.

DEPUTY: But that little one, Holy cow! When I got there, all I saw was a flash as he took off running! A little towhead with speed! It was like a little blond-headed blur!

ME: It was spaghetti night…

DEPUTY: It was something, all right. Did he end up in the Olympics or something? That kid was fast!

ME: Like I said, it was spaghetti night.

We ended up winning his hearing despite the fact that this guy was the one who tried to lock my family up…kind of…well, not really…but still. We had a great judge with a good sense of humor and I relayed our connection to the judge after the hearing was over. He was pretty amused.

As you might have gathered, food was an important part of my youngest son’s life. I remember when my kids went to a Vietnamese New Year’s celebration with their mom. Some of the food was something they were not used to but they ate everything politely and enjoyed most of it. The one thing none of them, except my youngest, would eat was the little octopi being served whole. My youngest apparently found them very much to his liking and the rest of the family kept sneaking their octopi to him. He ate them all…and he was only about 2 years old at the time.

You would think with that appetite he would’ve grown to be a bigger person, but he ended up at about 5’7” and lucky if he weighs 130 pounds. He’s still fast as heck though. If he had chosen a life of crime, he would’ve been hard to catch.

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