Self-centeredness is the root of rudeness. I used to think rudeness was just a lack of good manners, but now I realize it’s so much more. Yes, bad manners can make a person rude, but it’s the fact that rude people only think of themselves that makes the act of rudeness more personally abhorrent. It means they could care less about who they’re being rude to. As long as they satisfy themselves, the world is all right. This definition also applies to sociopaths.
Basically, a sociopath has a conscience, but it’s very weak. They don’t dwell on the hurt they might cause. In fact, they really don’t care very much about the ramifications of anything they do or say. They are aware what they’re doing is hurtful, however, but they do it anyway. As long as it doesn’t hurt themselves, they will do it.
Granted, sociopath might be too strong of a definition for somebody who is rude to you, but if someone acts like a jerk, you call them a jerk…if someone acts like a hoodlum, you call them a hoodlum…therefore, if someone acts like a sociopath, you call them a sociopath. Simple, huh?
Now that we’ve covered the definition of sociopathy and rudeness, we can move along with my rant here.
Rude people annoy me. For some reason, I missed out on the rudeness gene. I’m generally friendly to everybody, even those I don’t like. I say hello to most people I meet. If I have eye contact with anybody, I am unable to suppress my smile. I treat most people the same and with dignity and respect unless they give me a reason to do otherwise. Sometimes I feel like a throwback to another time, a time where manners counted and courtesy mattered. I always try to be the best part of the day to most people I see. I refuse to change. I prefer to leave people with a good feeling rather than a bad feeling. I like this about myself.
On those days I don’t feel well, I still try to be a good person. It’s not the other person’s fault I don’t feel well. It’s also not the other person’s business that I don’t feel well…unless they actually care and they ask. Strangers really don’t want to hear why you’re rude to them, they just want you to stop being rude.
STRANGER: You just cut in front of me in line…
RUDE PERSON: Well, I’m in a hurry.
STRANGER: So are the rest of us in line…
RUDE PERSON: Well, I actually have something important to do.
STRANGER: Um, so do we…
RUDE PERSON: Look, I’m not feeling well so just let it go, ok?
STRANGER: Um, no. Get to the back of the line.
RUDE PERSON: Look, I have cancer, um, and pneumonia, um, and something else that’s very contagious so I need to get through this line as quick as possible.
STRANGER: You are aware that this is the line for the ski lift, right?
See? Even if you’re trying to have fun, rude people ruin everything!
My biggest issue with rude people is that they leave me feeling unhappy for periods of time. Sometimes, it’s only minutes and I’m able to convince myself that what they did really doesn’t matter and shouldn’t affect me. Other times, however, it grates at me all day long and sometimes even at night when I’m dreaming. I just can’t understand these people. They just don’t care that they make others feel bad.
Like I said…they’re sociopaths, whether they realize it or not. Even if they truly aren’t…they’re still buttholes.