If I’ve noticed anything about blog writing, it’s that people seem to like stories about my cat. I can’t blame you…she’s a pretty cool cat as far as cats go. Sometimes she’s more of a dog than the dog is…of course, that might be more of a reflection of the dog than the cat.
The dog in this story is not our dog, but my brother-in-law’s little Pomeranian who is under some kind of impression that he’s a cross between a kangaroo and a fox…and a vacuum cleaner. That dog will put anything in his mouth and let his stomach sort it out later. He’s like a Roomba with fur. He even makes some of the same sounds!
Anyway, the cat just tolerates him. He’ll bounce all around and she’ll just stare at him like he’s a freak show. Then, if he bounces too close, she’ll smack him in the head and he’ll back away quickly. He doesn’t seem to know what to make of the cat other than she has a lot more freedom and rights than he does. The most excitement she’ll generate is lifting her head so she doesn’t cause any trouble. The only interaction she has with the dog is that she’ll eat his food on occasion…probably to get even for the times he engulfed her food. All I know is that their conversations probably go like this:
DOG: Hey! Hey? You want to play with the ball? Huh? Huh?
CAT: I’d rather eat dirt.
DOG: Yes! Yes! Let’s eat dirt! I like to eat dirt! What’s dirt?
CAT: You’re a moron.
DOG: Yes! Yes! I am a…wait, what?
CAT: An idiot.
DOG: Oh, yes! Yes! That’s good, right?
CAT: Go away.
DOG: Oh, yes! I can play that!
CAT: Seriously, go away. You’re too close. I can smell your horrible breath.
DOG: I knew we were close! I knew it!
CAT: What did you eat? My hairball?
DOG: Oh, oh! Do you have a hairball? Where? I need something to throw up later!
CAT: Ugh, smells like you already have…
DOG: Thank you! Thank you! We’re friends, huh?
At that point, the cat will usually smack the dog upside the head. This will cause him to do the kangaroo thing and jump three feet into the air. Then, after a brief sidelong glance of confusion, the dog will go and find something to pee on or chew on, or both. You could say he’s an “emotional” eater…except for him, any emotion will do.