Waterfront Property

For those of you following my blogs, you’ll remember that I talked about the heavy rain and the new lake that formed behind our house. It stopped raining for a bit so it looks like we may have lucked out as far as any home flooding. This morning, however, I looked out my back window and saw a couple squirrels in a tree above the newly formed lake. I can only imagine the conversation…

SQUIRREL WIFE: We’re moving to the country, you said. It’ll be beautiful, you said. Nuts everywhere, you said.

SQUIRREL HUSBAND: How was I supposed to know it was going to flood here?

SQUIRREL WIFE: Oh, I don’t know…maybe because it’s by a river? Maybe because the ground is really low? Maybe because the Andersons told us not to live here because it could FLOOD?!?!

SQUIRREL HUSBAND: The Andersons are always saying crazy things! Remember when they insisted we would get overrun by foxes? That never happened…

SQUIRREL WIFE: Well, this did!

SQUIRREL HUSBAND: Fine…you win…I’m sorry. I’m hungry, do we have any nuts left?

SQUIRREL WIFE: Only the ones we buried.

SQUIRREL HUSBAND: Well, I’ll just go and…nuts! They’re under the water!

SQUIRREL WIFE: I’m so happy I married a genius.

SQUIRREL HUSBAND: Fine! I’ll swim under the water and get them!

SQUIRREL WIFE: No you won’t.


After this, the male squirrel scampers down the tree then hesitates at the waterline. He slowly dips his toe into the water and shivers.

SQUIRREL WIFE: What are you waiting for? Spring?

Angrily, the male squirrel dives into the water. The female watches for a minute before getting worried. A minute later, the male emerges with a single acorn and runs it up the tree.

SQUIRREL WIFE: Oh! I’m so sorry! I was so worried about you!

SQUIRREL HUSBAND: Here you go. I’ll go get some more…

SQUIRREL WIFE: You’re so sweet! You’re just the best husband ever!

SQUIRREL HUSBAND: Aw, it’s ok. Just eat your acorn.

The squirrel female chomps into the acorn and makes a face before spitting it out.

SQUIRREL WIFE: Argh! It’s all pasty from being wet! Couldn’t you at least try to find one not so soggy?


SQUIRREL WIFE: We’re moving to the country, you said. It’ll be beautiful, you said. Nuts everywhere, you said.


Yeah, that’s what my imagination tells me is going on. Of course, my cat is next to me, like always, and has a little different viewpoint on these situations.

ME: So, kitty, what do you think they’re saying?

CAT: Meow. (This translates to, at least we won’t starve if we get flooded in.)

ME: I don’t think it’ll come to…

CAT: Meow. (Once again, the translation is, squirrels are good eatin’.)

ME: I don’t think we’ll have to resort to that. Besides, you have enough Meow Mix for the next month or so.

CAT: Meow. (I don’t think you’re feeling me on this, Dazeodrew…)

ME: Fine. Go get us a squirrel.

CAT: Meow? (They live in a lake…you expect me to jump in that?)

So I guess we won’t be eating squirrel tacos any time soon.


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